Vetting With Vision

When you’re in your healing era… when you’ve been doing the self-work, the inner work, the “I don’t want to repeat that lesson again” kind of work, dating starts to feel different. And when you're walking through your very good year, you realize love is more than a connection. It’s about intention.

That’s why vetting a partner isn't something to take lightly. When you’re building a life rooted in self-love, you simply can’t afford to invite chaos wrapped in charm. Whew… ask me how I know.

Once you’ve done the work, healed, grown, and gotten honest with yourself, you don’t just slip back into casual dating. You move differently. You step into courtship. And that’s a whole different energy.

Courtship becomes a spiritual process. It’s discernment in motion. It’s the ongoing question: “Are we truly aligned?” Not just in the present moment, but over the long haul.

When you’re courting, you’re gathering information. You’re observing how someone speaks to your soul, how they respond to your energy, and how they honor you. You’re paying attention to how they treat themselves, how they move through different environments, and how they show up for others. That’s what sets courtship apart.

And vetting doesn’t stop once you enter a relationship. It continues subtly as both people evolve. Sometimes one partner grows, heals, or awakens faster than the other, and suddenly the connection starts to feel unfamiliar. What once made sense begins to feel misaligned.

That kind of shift can create chaos, confusion, or a deep sense of disconnect. But it’s not always a sign of failure. Sometimes it’s simply a sign of change. And knowing how to navigate that shift, or lovingly let go, is a vital part of honoring your own journey.

Because even in love, alignment matters.

It’s love with strategy. Attraction with intention. And that’s exactly the kind of energy you want to lead with in your life and in your Very Good Year.

6 CORE AREAS TO VET WITH INTENTION

These are the core areas of my life that shape who I am and how I want to live. If a partner can’t meet me in these spaces, or grow with me in them, it’s not something I can overlook.

Sometimes that calls for a thoughtful pause. Other times, it’s a clear and immediate no.

Because alignment isn’t optional when you’re building a life with intention. I’m not forcing vibes or negotiating peace. I’ll insert the block button where necessary. HA!

SELF-DEVELOPMENT & SPIRITUAL GROWTH

The question isn’t whether they’re perfect or hyper-spiritual. It’s whether they’re actively evolving. Are they self-aware? Do they sit with themselves and take accountability for their actions? Growth requires reflection. You can’t build something deep with someone who doesn’t even see themselves clearly.

HEALTH & FITNESS

Lifestyle matters. You don’t have to share the exact same workout plan or eat the same meals, but there should be common ground when it comes to physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Misalignment here may not show up immediately, but over time it can create real challenges. Wellness should be a shared value, not a solo journey.

HOME & LIFESTYLE

Home is more than a space. It’s an energy. You deserve to feel safe and settled in both. Do your ideas of cleanliness, order, and peace align? Are your lifestyles compatible, whether that’s being active and social or embracing a slower, homebody rhythm? This area is often overlooked, but it deeply affects everyday harmony.

CAREER, MONEY & AMBITION

A paycheck is great, but shared vision? That’s the real wealth. Do your values align around spending, saving, and growing? Are you both content in your current careers, or dreaming bigger for yourselves? You don’t need the same exact path, but you do need shared understanding, financial awareness, and respect for the journey ahead. That’s stewardship.

RELATIONSHIPS & MARRIAGE

If marriage or long-term partnership is your goal, clarity here matters. This can’t be something you tiptoe around or assume will figure itself out. Have the real conversation. What does love look like to them? How do they communicate? How do they view partnership in everyday life? The answers may surprise you, and that’s worth knowing early on.

And if parenthood is on the table, whether you’re raising children now, considering them in the future, or unsure, it’s a conversation that can’t be skipped. Do you both even want children? If one of you does and the other doesn’t, that’s not a small difference. It’s foundational. How someone parents, or plans to, says a lot about their values, emotional maturity, and long-term vision.

CONTINUED ALIGNMENT

You might start off spiritually connected, physically attracted, and dreaming in the same direction… but life happens. People grow. Or they don’t.

Sometimes you’ll realize the version of you they connected with is no longer the version of you that exists.

Having been in a relationship that lasted over a decade, I know what it means to evolve beside someone. And I know what it feels like when that evolution starts moving in opposite directions.

Checking in with the connection matters.

Are we still aligned?
Are we growing together or growing apart?

I’m entering a season of love where self-love is the foundation. And because that self-love is rooted in peace, purpose, and joy, I stopped settling for madness.

I became more intentional. More present. More honest about what I truly desire.

I’m not dating just to date. I’m vetting with clear vision.

Because real love isn’t just chemistry or compatibility. It’s a commitment to alignment. And that alignment has to exist not just at the beginning, but as life unfolds, as you evolve, and as your dreams continue to expand.

2025